Thursday, June 21, 2007



I started this doll about a year and half ago, and just finished her this week. Even though she's called "Joy" there's something not quite finished or settled about her. I think that's because I made her in memory of a friend who killed herself. She kept looking and hoping for joy, and although she loved her husband, children, and family, she felt such pain that she couldn't go on living. She was a dollmaker herself, and her favorite set was a mama doll with baby dolls from all over the world.

My friend adopted her two children from South America and she was a pediatrician. She loved children, and was so gentle and caring with them. She killed herself just as winter was turning to spring, and maybe the feeling I have about this doll is that she didn't quite make it to spring. Do you know the feeling you have when the gray of winter finally gives way to a warm breeze and bits of green pushing up through the earth? When darkness turns to light? It didn't happen for my friend. She never made it past the darkness.

5 comments:

Sunni said...

She is a beautiful doll. I posted today on my site about a doll I started after a friend passed away.
Perhaps what we are doing is letting our feelings for them live inside the doll and letting go of our pain that way. I am sorry you lost your friend.I am sure she was a wonderful person.
Sunni

KV said...

Such a loving tribute to your friend. Somewhere she is smiling at the love and care you expressed in this beautiful doll.

Kathy V in NM

freebird said...

Beautiful. Both your doll and the tribute to your friend. Waiting for spring when it's too long in coming is hard and I can see how it is too hard for some. I hope her family can see your view of her.

a2susan said...

thank you to those who responded to my doll, they are all so caring and helpful to me. susan

Vicki said...

My mother died young and in sorrow, and I've never lost my conviction that she would be able to find the comfort and healing beyond this life that she could not find within it.
I believe that your lovely doll is both tribute to and prayer for your friend. Your love will help her heal.