Friday, June 20, 2014

June Beaded Bead

I was looking for some bugle beads for another project and found these beautiful bugles. Until I saw these beads I wasn't sure what I was going to do for June.  I started thinking about June, and how it is a month that represents both joy and sorrow, hence the two rows of bugle beads.  Joy because there are many family birthdays in June.  My father's birthday is June 7, my father-in-laws birthday is June 17th, and right in between is my son Jason's birthday on the 9th.  Jason's due date was actually August 25th, I remember it after all these years.  And I also remember how difficult a pregnancy I had and the realization that things weren't going well.  Blue has always been a grounding color for me, it represents both the sky and the water.  We were living in Florida at the time and had water from the Indian River and the ocean surrounding us.

My Bead Journal Bead for June is based on the Belted Bricky Balls from Dustin Wedekind's book Getting Started with Seed Beads.  I was looking for some bugle beads for another project and found these beautiful bugles. Until I saw these beads I wasn't sure what I was going to do for June.


The smooth side of the bead represents joy, of Jason thriving, of life eventually settling down, of my other son's connection to Jason that continues to this day. But within that joy there is also sorrow.  It wasn't easy to deal with all of the issues Jason experienced. It took many years for health and developmental issue to resolve.  So the second half of the bead shows the bumpy ride.

And here is where June becomes even more difficult. Both of our father's had birthdays in June, but June is also a month in which my f-i-l died on his birthday, truly completing a full circle of life.  He was buried the next day, which was on one of his son's birthday, and just 2 days before what would have been his 50th anniversary.  It was like the emotional punches just kept coming.

At the same time, my father was dying from cancer.  And he died six weeks after my f-i-l.  My parents couldn't go to my f-i-l's funeral, but my mother in law came to my father's.  How brave is that?

That summer was sixteen years ago.  It's hard to believe it's been that long.

I used yellow thread, rather than a color that may have blended in, because I wanted to show that even in sorrow there is always sunshine. I used lime green charlottes in between the bugle beads and fuchsia beads on the outside simply because I like those colors together.  And the gold beads at the top and bottom openings represent the value of life, both during happy and sad times.

As I'm writing this it is the yahrzeit of my father-in-law, the Jewish anniversary of his death.  We light a candle to remember him and it burns for 24 hours. In a few weeks we will do it for my father.  And just a few weeks ago we did it for my mother-in-law, who died three years after her husband.

Many of my bead journal pieces seem to end up being yin and yang images.  I think a lot of life is like
that, where you have one side there is another.  They are not separate, they spin around each other and weave a tale.  I am so appreciative that I can do this with beads.  I think they represent me better than the words I am struggling with as I write this tonight.

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